Friday, 9 March 2012

Judgment by Shoes

Say hello and in one second look down at shoes and back up.  Judgment made.

If your shoes are high you pass.  Extra points for expensive, mad, painful and red.  Walking boots with mud on and trainers: dismissal.

Obviously if I had narrow pointy feet and didn't have a muddy dog and enjoyed pain or had a shoe fetish I'd join in; but as it is I look at eyes, the whole person and eyes again.  Not that I'm deep or anything - I just like other things.  As Oscar said, only the shallow don't judge by appearances.    


Tuesday, 6 March 2012


Take picture to be framed

Find picture

Measure old frame upstairs so new frame will match, making a pair of pictures

Find tape measure

Make tea

Find biscuits

Mend broken stool with sharp nails sticking out

Find plasters

Find glue

Take broken stool to picture framer's in case he can mend it

After finding picture

And tape measure

Make list



Tape measure


Nicer biscuits - not Nice biscuits, they're horrible

To Do

make list *

* When you get to the end of the list, you're dead

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Statement Necklace

What statement is the statement necklace trying to make?

I am a very important necklace, so the woman I am wearing is obviously the most important woman in the room. She can afford me for a start and didn't notice or anyway care about people smirking as she held me up against her throat in the shop. And as original as any woman wearing a statement necklace.'
Somehow a statement necklace doesn't suit me. I'm not really strong enough to stand up to one. A yellow-gold and black collar borrowed from an African queen. A cape of red and amethyst wedges. A circle of orange stones guarded by deep spikes. A bold piece of armour bolted together in the B&Q hardware section.
I would like to be able to wear something which speaks louder than this silver chain with the little teacup pendant, which I suppose is saying, 'I'm not very good at jewellery, but I'd love a cup of tea, thanks.' But when I try on anything bigger I just look foolish, diminished and sidelined by my statement necklace.